i tried the lamb sausage roll from the bourke st bakery and i am dissapoint

Its not ideal when you move to a new city and then the government says you must stay within 5km of your home... and not see people... and basically sit at home unless you are going to the grocery store or doing something resembling exercise. So I've had a lot of time on my hands to contemplate life and think about my future. To be honest, I meant to spend my initial lockdown experience of 2020 contemplating life and thinking about my future. Except I found myself face to face with an incredibly mentally unstable person hell bent on making their trauma the center of my attention. But now it is lockdown 2021 part 2 (electric boogaloo) and I do not find myself in a high stress environment. About the only annoying thing I am facing at this time is my neighbor's random loud coughing and hacking episodes.

So what does it all mean? Life, that is. I've spent quite a bit of time thinking about this and recently came to the conclusion it means very little. I've spent quite a bit of time in my past sitting in a depressive haze. It turns out I forgot it is only up to me to make shit happen and influence my future. I wound up removing my hazy barriers by just stopping... and sitting quietly... and ignoring my life of little errands (but I do have to do my taxes so I'm feeling a bit guilty about procrastinating on that). So in these quiet moments, I spend a lot of time thinking about what is my strategy to make what I want manifest? And also, what are my new priorities in this new phase of my life?

Priority number one is to walk away from toxic situations. There is one in particular I am focusing on. It took me some soul searching to finally decide that even if I may sabotage one future path, it is more beneficial to me that I remove myself from the toxic situation and close the door to that future path. I've just got to take care of myself first.

I am also going to make deliberate efforts to cultivate my creative side. I think maybe I buried it so it will take me a bit of time to pull that back out into the open. I hope writing regularly will help.

Word on the intertubes is restrictions will ease for fully vaxxed folks so I hope that means I won't be so isolated soon. Its a weird experience to get really frustrated by my inability to move around. And at the same time, also appreciate this opportunity to stop my regular routine and have some space to self-reflect.

#australia #straya #oz #sydney #creative #writing #lockdown #covid #future #suspend #life #meaning #priorities #slowliving #change #positive